When Sport Gets Stressful: Understanding Anxiety in Kids and Teens

Sport can bring out the best in kids and teens - confidence, friendships, growth, and the thrill of competition. But it can also bring big nerves and pressure. As a parent or coach, it can be tricky to know: are these just normal performance nerves, or is this something more serious, like anxiety that’s getting in the way of wellbeing?

This blog unpacks the difference, offers practical ways to support young athletes, and explores how we can reduce stigma around anxiety in sport.

Nerves vs Anxiety: What’s the Difference?

Feeling nervous before a game, race, or performance is completely normal. Butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, or a racing heart are signs that the body is getting ready to perform. In fact, a little bit of arousal can actually help athletes sharpen focus and rise to the occasion.

But when those nerves become overwhelming—when they stop a child from enjoying their sport, sleeping the night before, or even wanting to show up at all, it may be more than “just nerves.” Anxiety can show up as:

• Constant worry about making mistakes or letting people down.

• Physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches, or feeling sick before every game.

• Avoidance (wanting to skip training or pretend to be injured).

• Difficulty focusing on the moment because they’re caught in “what ifs.”

Case example: Bella, a 13-year-old gymnast, feels butterflies before training. On comp day though, she starts shaking, cries in the car, and begs not to go in. What started as healthy nerves has turned into anxiety that interferes with her wellbeing, performance, and love for her sport.

How Anxiety Shows Up in Sport

Every child expresses anxiety differently. Some kids externalise it e.g. they may snap at parents, argue with coaches, or storm off. Others internalise, becoming quiet, withdrawn, or self-critical. For teens especially, anxiety can look like:

• Perfectionism (“I have to nail this or I’m a failure”).

• Fear of judgement (“Everyone will think I’m hopeless”).

• Catastrophic thinking (“If I mess this up, my career is over”).

For parents and coaches, the key is to look for patterns—is anxiety showing up consistently, across sessions and competitions, and is it taking away from the joy of sport?

Practical Tools to Support Young Athletes

Supporting anxious athletes isn’t about making the nerves disappear, it’s about helping them manage those feelings so they don’t take over.

Here are some simple, sport-friendly tools:

1. Self-Talk

Encourage athletes to swap unhelpful thoughts (“I can’t do this”) for more balanced ones (“I’ve trained hard, I can give it my best”). Coaches can model this with cue words or phrases.

Case example: Liam, a 12-year-old swimmer, repeats “strong and steady” to himself before diving in. It gives his brain something to focus on instead of the nerves.

2. Routines

Pre-performance routines help kids feel grounded and in control. This might be listening to the same song, tying their shoelaces a certain way, or doing a short breathing exercise before competing.

3. Grounding & Breathing

Simple techniques like “5-4-3-2-1” grounding (naming things they can see, feel, hear, smell, and taste) or slow belly breathing can calm racing thoughts.

4. Giving the Brain a Task

An anxious brain spirals when it has nothing else to do. Encourage small, focused tasks: counting breaths, bouncing a ball, or rehearsing the first step of a routine.

5. Perspective Taking

Parents and coaches can normalise that nerves are part of sport: “Even Olympic athletes feel nervous—what matters is how you use those feelings.”

Talking About Anxiety Without Stigma

One of the biggest challenges in sport is that anxiety is often hidden. Kids may fear being labelled as “weak,” “soft,” or “not tough enough.” Coaches might unintentionally reinforce stigma with phrases like “toughen up” or “just get over it.”

Instead, we can:

• Use language that normalises anxiety (“Lots of athletes feel like this—it’s part of sport”).

• Separate the person from the feeling (“You’re not an anxious kid—you’re an athlete who sometimes feels anxious”).

• Emphasise that anxiety doesn’t mean someone can’t succeed in sport. In fact, many elite athletes openly share their struggles with anxiety and still perform at the highest level.

How Parents and Coaches Can Help

• Open Conversations: Ask, “What does it feel like for you before a game?” rather than, “Why are you so anxious?”

• Listen Without Fixing: Sometimes just being heard is enough.

• Encourage Balance: Ensure young athletes have time for rest, friends, and other hobbies.

• Seek Support When Needed: If anxiety is stopping a child from training, competing, or enjoying their sport, reaching out to a sport psychologist could help make a big difference.

Final Thoughts

Sport is meant to be challenging but also enjoyable. Normal nerves can push kids to do their best, while overwhelming anxiety can take away the joy. As parents and coaches, our role is to notice the difference, open conversations, and provide tools and support.

When we normalise anxiety, reduce stigma, and teach young athletes how to manage nerves, we give them skills that don’t just help in sport but in life.

References

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• Harwood, C. G., & Anderson, R. (2015). Coaching psychological skills in youth sport: Developing young athletes. Routledge.

• Laborde, S., Mosley, E., & Thayer, J. F. (2017). Heart rate variability and cardiac vagal tone in psychophysiological research–recommendations for experiment planning, data analysis, and data reporting. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 213. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00213

• Martens, R., Vealey, R. S., & Burton, D. (2022). Competitive anxiety in sport. Human Kinetics.

• Newman, H. J. H., Howells, K. L., & Fletcher, D. (2016). The dark side of top level sport: An autobiographic study of depressive experiences in elite sport performers. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 868. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00868

• Smith, R. E., Smoll, F. L., & Cumming, S. P. (2007). Effects of a motivational climate intervention for coaches on young athletes’ sport performance anxiety. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, 29(1), 39–59. https://doi.org/10.1123/jsep.29.1.39

• Tamminen, K. A., & Gaudreau, P. (2014). Coping, social support, and emotion regulation in teams. In M. R. Beauchamp & M. A. Eys (Eds.), Group dynamics in exercise and sport psychology (pp. 222–239). Routledge.

• Vallerand, R. J. (2012). The role of passion in sustainable psychological well-being. Psychology of Well-Being, 2(1), 1–21. https://doi.org/10.1186/2211-1522-2-1