Playing Through the Pain: The Culture of Toughness & Mental Health in Sport

From grassroots footy fields to Olympic stadiums, the phrase “push through the pain” is echoed like a mantra. Grit. Sacrifice. No excuses. It’s the gold standard of mental toughness—an unspoken expectation for athletes to keep going no matter what. But behind this culture of resilience lies a growing conversation: what happens when pushing through comes at the cost of mental health?

The Glorification of Grit

Mental toughness has long been equated with success in sport. Athletes are praised for their ability to suppress pain, ignore fatigue, and battle through injury. While grit and perseverance have their place, the over-glorification of these traits can create dangerous norms. In many sporting environments, athletes are taught early on to hide weakness, suppress emotion, and view vulnerability as failure.

This isn't just a high-performance issue, it begins in youth sport. Children as young as 10 report pressure to “toughen up” or “stop crying” when injured or emotionally overwhelmed. Research shows that such messages can set the tone for an internalised belief system that leads to burnout, injury mismanagement, and poor help-seeking behaviour (Arnold et al., 2021).

 “If I speak up about my mental health, will I still be seen as strong?”

This is a question many athletes grapple with—especially those navigating invisible struggles like anxiety, depression, ADHD, or trauma.

When Toughness Becomes Toxic

Injury is often seen as a physical hurdle. But the psychological toll of injury, especially when athletes are encouraged to ignore pain, can be just as significant. Fear of being benched, losing contracts, or disappointing coaches can lead athletes to underreport symptoms or return to play prematurely.

A 2024 study on mental toughness and wellbeing in sport found that environments that overemphasise stoicism can create shame around emotional expression, particularly for male athletes (Kearney et al., 2024). This culture silences athletes during the very times they most need support.

While perseverance is essential in sport, true mental toughness includes knowing when to rest, when to seek help, and when to speak up.

The Gender Divide in Expectations

Expectations around toughness often look different depending on gender. Male athletes are typically expected to embody physical dominance, aggression, and emotional control. As a result, they may be less likely to disclose psychological distress or seek mental health support (Rice et al., 2016).

In contrast, female athletes often face contradictory messages: to be emotionally attuned yet resilient, competitive yet composed. They may also experience higher scrutiny regarding their bodies, appearance, and emotional expression—pressures that can erode confidence and increase vulnerability to mental health concerns.

These socialised expectations shape how athletes internalise toughness. And for both male and female athletes, the pressure to meet these ideals can become psychologically costly.

Neurodivergent Athletes & the “Push Through” Paradox

Athletes with ADHD, autism, or sensory differences may experience unique challenges in sport such as heightened sensitivity to pain, emotional dysregulation, or rigid expectations around routines. The ‘just push through’ mentality can feel particularly invalidating for these athletes.

One 2024 chapter by Goodwin and colleagues highlights how neurodivergent athletes may find both refuge and risk in sport: refuge in the structure, intensity, and identity it provides; risk in environments that misunderstand their needs or invalidate their experiences.

Redefining Mental Toughness: Vulnerability as a Skill

It’s time we expand our definition of mental toughness. What if toughness also meant:

• Knowing when to say, “I need help.”

• Being honest about how you're feeling—physically and emotionally.

• Having the courage to rest and recover.

• Creating space for others to speak up, too.

Sport psychologist Dr. Karen Nimmo describes mental toughness not as armour, but as elasticity—the ability to bounce, adapt, and stretch through challenges without breaking.

Encouraging open conversations about mental health doesn't weaken performance—it strengthens it. When athletes feel safe, supported, and understood, they’re more likely to thrive.

Coaches, Parents & Systems That Hold the Line

Creating psychologically safe sporting environments starts with the adults who shape them. Coaches, parents, and sporting organisations play a vital role in breaking down stigma and shifting harmful norms.

Coaches can role-model vulnerability, normalise emotional conversations, and avoid reinforcing language that shames or silences pain.

Parents can support athletes by valuing rest, emotional wellbeing, and holistic success—not just outcomes.

Organisations can embed wellbeing policies that prioritise long-term development over short-term wins. This includes ensuring access to mental health professionals, fostering inclusive environments, and promoting safe injury management practices.

Winning is important—but not at the cost of an athlete’s identity, health, or future.

Final Thoughts: Strength Is Asking for Help

Toughness has long been the currency of athletic success. But when the cost is silence, shame, or suffering, we have to ask: is it worth it?

Let’s shift the narrative.

Let’s teach young athletes that vulnerability and courage can coexist. That mental health is performance. And that speaking up is one of the bravest plays in sport.

Want support navigating the pressure of elite sport?

At Surge Performance + Wellbeing, we work with athletes, coaches, and families to build mental skills, prevent burnout, and promote sustainable success. Book a session, explore resources, or get in touch for tailored support.

References

1. Arnold, R., Fletcher, D., & Daniels, K. (2021). Demands, challenges, and stressors in elite sport: A systematic review. Journal of Sports Sciences, 39(8), 855–877. https://doi.org/10.1080/02640414.2020.1821399

2. Goodwin, G., Thomson, P., & Johnston, M. (2024). Neurodivergence and sport: Mismatched environments and athlete experiences. In Neurodiversity and Mental Health in Elite Sport (pp. 241–259). https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-63912-9_14

3. Kearney, T., Byrne, D., & Borkan, A. (2024). Mental toughness or emotional suppression? Understanding athlete vulnerability in elite sport. Cureus, 16(3), e64018. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.64018

4. Rice, S. M., Purcell, R., De Silva, S., Mawren, D., McGorry, P. D., & Parker, A. G. (2016). The mental health of elite athletes: A narrative systematic review. Sports Medicine, 46(9), 1333–1353. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40279-016-0492-2

5. Nimmo, K. (2019). Elastic Strength: The New Psychology of Resilience in Sport. Wellington Press.

6. Yang, J., Schaefer, J. T., Zhang, N., Covassin, T., Ding, K., Heiden, E., & Kiningham, R. R. (2007). Mental health issues and psychological health in athletes: A growing concern. Journal of Athletic Training, 42(1), 64–70.

7. Timpka, T., Jacobsson, J., Dahlström, Ö., Kowalski, J., Bargoria, V., & Nilsson, S. (2015). The psychological injury risk in sport: Mental health perspectives in elite athletes. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 49(9), 1161–1165. https://doi.org/10.1136/bjsports-2015-095159

8. Sullivan, P., & Feltz, D. L. (2003). The mental toughness inventory: Empirical support for a multi-dimensional measure. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 15(3), 199–213. https://doi.org/10.1080/10413200305384